At some point, many people begin to question whether they’re truly living in alignment with what matters most. This may surface during life transitions, after major achievements, or in the stillness of everyday routines. You might sense that you’re drifting, going through the motions without a clear sense of direction or deeper meaning.
Asking “What is my purpose?” isn’t always easy, but it marks a meaningful turning point. It signals a desire to reconnect with yourself, to better understand who you are and what gives your life meaning beyond external expectations. While the answers rarely appear all at once, the willingness to explore is what sets the journey in motion.
In this blog, we’ll take a closer look at why a sense of purpose can feel elusive, the signs that you're ready to explore what a more meaningful life could look like, and how to find your purpose through intentional self-reflection.
*Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is intended for educational and personal reflection purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a licensed mental health provider. If you are experiencing burnout, emotional distress, or other mental health challenges, please consult a qualified healthcare professional.
Why purpose feels hard to find
Few people are born knowing what their purpose in life is, and those seeking it may find it challenging to do so. Let’s take a closer look at why.
We’re taught to seek success, not meaning
Seeking meaning often takes a backseat to striving for success due to cultural norms. We’re pushed toward achievement and success in terms of wealth, fame, status, and power, instead of being encouraged to seek alignment. This leads to people becoming successful, but disconnected from their values and sense of purpose.
If you’ve been seeking success rather than meaning, you might be spending too much time focused on performance instead of presence.
You may be overwhelmed by options
Choosing a new purpose feels like a high-stakes decision. When you’re faced with so many options, you can easily end up dealing with decision fatigue.
You might also struggle out of fear that you’ll make the “wrong” decision. But it’s okay if it turns out that what you thought was your purpose really isn’t after all. It just means you keep searching and reflecting until you find it. You’ll get there, though it may take more time than you expected.
You’re looking outward instead of inward
If you tend to look for external validation or rely on titles or roles to define purpose, you’re not alone. Cultural norms come into play here. But looking outward isn’t the right direction when you want to find meaning.
Shift your focus inward instead. Think about what lights you up inside or what brings you joy. Consider what inspires you or makes you feel energized. Reflecting on that internal spark gives you a better sense of your values, guiding you toward your true purpose.
You’ve been in “survival mode”
When you’re under prolonged stress, your body can remain in a reactive state (sometimes referred to as “survival mode”), which can make reflection and goal-setting more difficult.
Being in this state makes it difficult to connect to purpose and engage in self-discovery. At the end of the day, you just don’t have the mental energy to handle this. Taking time to rest and recover can get you out of this mode, allowing you to search for purpose with a renewed mindset.
Signs you’re ready to reconnect with purpose
Are you ready to realign with what really matters in your life? If you’ve been struggling with feeling lost or unfulfilled, it may be time to rediscover your purpose. If you relate to any of the following signs, it means you’re ready to reconnect with your life’s meaning.
You’re craving more meaning in daily life
A life filled with purpose often begins with a quiet, subtle discomfort. You might feel like something’s missing or that your life is misaligned. You may not be able to pinpoint what’s wrong, but you feel like something needs to change.
Eventually, you figure out that it’s purpose that’s missing, and your next step is to search for it in order to create a more fulfilling life.
You feel drawn to help others or make an impact
Having a strong urge to serve others or make meaningful change means you’re getting close to a breakthrough in your search for purpose. This desire often emerges when your intuition connects with your values.
This pull to serve others means that you’re shifting from looking for fulfillment to finding it. You might feel a desire to volunteer your time or skills, become a life coach or mentor, or just be willing to listen to loved ones who turn to you for help or advice.
You’re questioning what matters
Wondering what life is all about or what truly matters doesn’t mean you’re confused. These deeper questions show that your inner wisdom is awakening.
You might not have the answers yet, but you’re finding your way there. If you’ve been functioning on autopilot or in survival mode, asking these questions indicates that you’re on the path toward healing and living a purposeful life.
You’re open to change, even if it feels scary
Change is rarely comfortable. It means entering new territory and stepping outside your comfort zone. Even if you’re looking forward to reconnecting with purpose, this transformation can be unsettling.
The important part is that you're open to change. This willingness to grow matters more than having it all figured out.
How to find a new sense of purpose with self-reflection
Turning inward and reflecting on your values, strengths, feelings, and experiences can help you discover your purpose. Taking the time to do this comes with many benefits for your well-being and your life overall.
Studies have shown that a sense of purpose may support physical and mental well-being, giving you many reasons to make the journey toward building a meaningful life and self-awareness. To help you get started on this path, reflect on the following questions.
When do I feel most energized?
Think about what activities, environments, or roles fill you with joy and excitement. What boosts your energy levels, and what brings them down? You might lose track of time when you're engaged in a certain activity or in a certain environment that energizes you.
As an example, you might feel this way when you’re out for a walk in nature, exploring the outdoors. Or you might feel energized when you’re around new people, learning new skills, or trying new things. Paying attention to what excites or inspires you can help you figure out how you want to live your life more meaningfully.
What do people naturally come to me for?
You might already be guiding or serving others without realizing it. Look for patterns in your life when people come to you for help or guidance. Do others turn to you for wisdom and advice on handling a problem in their life or making an important decision? Do people rely on you to lead projects or be in charge of groups?
Others might come to you if they know they can trust you to be a good listener or provide them with a safe space to vent or confide. Or they might turn to you if they know they can trust your judgment or advice on personal matters.
What values do I want to live by?
Your personal values are closely tied to purpose. In fact, they need to be aligned with your sense of purpose in order for you to lead a life full of meaning. You might not know what your core values are, but it’s important to identify at least a few of them. Aim to come up with three to five core values that resonate with how you want to show up in the world.
Brainstorm qualities you admire in people you consider role models to guide you, like:
- Compassion
- Empathy
- Honesty
- Accountability
- Integrity
- Creativity
- Respect
What pain have I turned into wisdom?
Challenges or difficult times you’ve faced before can help you achieve personal growth and find purpose. If you haven’t already, you can turn those painful experiences into wisdom that guides you.
Reflect on these moments in your life and what you’ve learned from them. They might have helped you develop empathy or a desire to serve. You might have gained valuable insight from them.
Thinking back on these times might not be comfortable, but they helped shape you into who you are. Those past challenges can now serve as wisdom that helps you forge ahead with a renewed sense of purpose.
If nothing was holding me back, how would I serve?
This visioning prompt helps you imagine how you’d ideally help others. It encourages you to look past obligations, doubt, or fear. Instead, it helps you tap into true longing to serve others and make an impact.
When you think about helping others in your current situation, everyday concerns might get in the way. You might come up with reasons why you can’t serve the way you want to due to obligations you have or fear that you’ll fail. Using this prompt helps you see past all of those distractions and get to the heart of how you want to use purpose to help others.
Start living from the inside out with a strong sense of purpose
Keep in mind that your purpose of life isn’t something that’s far away. It’s always been with you, but you need space and support to remember it. Engaging in self-reflection can help you reconnect with it and realign with your values.
Take the next step on your journey with help from the Jay Shetty Certification School. Our life coaching program helps students align with their calling and gain clarity through service, transforming purpose into a path that supports others.
Becoming a life coach is more than a method of service to others. It’s also a structure for restoring personal alignment and adding meaning to your own life.
Are you ready to start studying to be a coach? Join the program today!
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